It’s a funny thing.

You would think that it would create this special bond between women who are also mothers, but I find more often than not, it creates judgement.

But it’s not just judgement of other mothers. It’s judgement of, well everyone.

I’ll see Jayden at football practice, standing waiting for the ball to be thrown to him, and I’ll think “why aren’t those little brats throwing to him?!” Jayden gets a B on his progress report, and I think “well I know what B stands for…why didn’t that B give him an A?!”

As a parent of a child with pretty severe anxiety disorder, it’s really hard not to judge everyone else in the world. I just want everyone to treat him kindly, with sincere words, and positive encouragement. All. The. Time. Is that too much to ask for?! Jeez. <insert eye roll>

So, I really have to keep my mama-bear-like mentality in check. I am so used to Jayden being afraid of EVERYTHING, and his feelings being hurt by EVERYONE, it’s as if I live on high alert defcon level 5 all the time. Funny thing is, his anxiety is finally semi-under control. He goes to weekly counseling with a mental health counselor and monthly counseling with a psychiatrist. He is on medication. He’s in a new school which is amazing. It took a LONG time to get to this. A time where I can actually run an errand and leave him at home (for a very short time but still!), a time when I can sit in the car while he’s at practice instead of having to be 5 feet away where he can see me at all times, a time when he doesn’t check on me every five minutes as if I might have disappeared from the living room. (Yep. He actually used to do that.) There are still major worries, anxious thoughts, self hating moments. For example, today’s worry was that if I dare to leave during football practice, a gunman will surely arrive and kill him, and I won’t have been there to protect him. It sounds ridiculous. WHY would that happen! But I can’t promise him without a doubt that it will never happen, so did I leave practice? No. I did not. Because even though his anxiety is much more under control, I am always waiting for the meltdown. It’s as if I have taken on the small amount of anxiety that he no longer has. I find myself thinking “what if I do leave him for 10 minutes, and something does happen to him, how will I feel!” Now if you know me in person, you know I don’t really stress about much. I am a go with the flow kind of person. I can take things in stride, figure things out later, it’ll all work out…except when it comes to Jayden.

Motherhood has made me a crazy, controlling, my way or the highway, kind of person. But, I only do it for love. (Is that what psychos say?!) I immediately judge people, when it comes to Jayden. I judge them on their treatment of him, on how they speak to him, on how they handle his little quirks (like, how will they handle him when he says things like No, I can’t use that cup because it has a straw in it, or I can’t eat that food now because the other food touched it, or there’s one cloud in the sky so a hurricane must be coming) I am the only one who knows every single thing about this kid, and can anticipate and handle his concerns, panic attacks and meltdowns. At least, that’s how I feel. And that’s how Jayden feels. He made me feel that way. Am I judging him now?! <insert another eye roll>

Life can be hard sometimes, when you feel like you are the ONLY person that someone else will ever rely on, the only one who can make him feel better when he’s having an “I’m the worst person in the world” kind of day. It’s like I can never take a break. Not a break from motherhood, I’d never want or need a break from that; just a break from holding the weight of Jayden’s world on my shoulders. (I mean, I also have the weight of Oscar’s world and Lucy’s world too…they’re real stressed.)



When he was younger, I always just immediately stood up for him. I talked to teachers, told people what to do and how to handle him. But now that he’s older, I’m always at risk of being “so embarrassing”! So I have to stand back and wait, see if people will straighten themselves out, see if Jayden can handle the situation. GUYS. That is so hard to do! For example, he’s chatting with a group of friends, and one kid keeps hanging up on him. I hear Jayden call back over and over, “why are you hanging up on me” and then click. Of course, I immediately think “what is that little shit’s problem!” but I wait…I hear it happen multiple times. Then I walk by his room and see how defeated he looks. So I know I have to say something…I can’t say what I want to say which is “that kid must be a giant snot nosed loser if he doesn’t want to talk to you” but instead I just say “hey, if your friends are being silly, move on and do something else. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what you did wrong, because you probably didn’t do anything wrong.”

And then I judge myself. Did I say the right thing? Should I have just left it? Now he knows I was listening. Should I text the kid’s mom? That’s right, I have her number! But I wouldn’t do that…or would I?! (Don’t worry, I didn’t!)

Then I think about the card he made me for Thanksgiving, the one that says “I love you. Thank you for always helping me with my enxiety” (hey, it’s a hard word to spell!) I think about how far he’s come in the last year. I think about how often we laugh together. And then, I know, I must be doing something right.

Motherhood is judgement. Judgement of ourselves, of others, of the world. It is tiring. And crazy. It is also rewarding. Fun. Never what you expect!

But most importantly, what all of us mothers need to remember, is this…Motherhood is love.



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I haven’t written a blog in over a year and a half! Whoa. I thought I’d just quit blogging altogether, but I actually really love to write…I just have different things to write about now. So maybe I’ll still blog from time to time, though it won’t be about the rescue world so much any more.

I started a new job in June 2015, and moved in June 2016. My job keeps me very busy, and I work more than 40 hours on a regular basis, so time for the rescue stuff has been very limited. I am still a board member for Last Hope Rescue, and I still run all of their social media and adoption sites. Because I am renting a house, I don’t foster any more. I do frequently visit the local animal shelter and humane society though. It’s funny how much I miss fostering. The enjoyment of bringing a new pup into my house, introducing them to my dogs, and seeing the dog flourish and then get chosen for adoption…it does something good for my soul.

Jayden is still struggling with his anxiety. Some days are good, some are tough….every day is exhausting. I never know how he will react to things. Will he like this activity? Does he want this to eat? Will he have a meltdown because we’re having chicken again? Will he have a panic attack because there’s too many strangers around? His anxiety causes him to have very low self esteem and a lack of confidence. The only time he can just be himself, without being nervous or overly anxious, is when he plays sports. I am so thankful for that, because I know for some kids with anxiety, sports is a nightmare. But not for Jayden. That’s the only time I see him consistently act without fear.

I get asked all to often why I’m not dating, why I don’t go out more than I do…people just don’t understand. Sometimes I just want to stay home, and watch tv and not have to make any decisions. The thought of bringing someone new into our world is…not easy. I live life in protection mode, always having to explain the world to Jayden. I constantly have to be ready to handle his reactions. He can sometimes have a few weeks that are really good, and then an entire week of meltdowns, and self-deprecating thoughts. No matter how good of a day he may have, at bed time he could be crying and asking why he is such a bad kid. It’s really hard to be his mom, knowing that I can’t fix this, I can’t make him see what a smart, funny, great kid he is. No matter how often I tell him, or how often I point out the positive things, his brain doesn’t let him see it. His anxiety is unpredictable, and doesn’t get any better after he gets through a situation positively. His mind is always focused on the worst possible result, for every day, every situation he encounters, every person he meets. It’s exhausting.

That being said though, we are enjoying our new home town. We live minutes away from my parents, and Jayden loves getting to see Nanny and Papa so often. It also allows us to see my nephew much more often, since he visits my parents a lot, which is wonderful! We love being minutes away from the beach, and the dogs love their frequent visits to the ocean.

I’m not sure how often I’ll write posts…and I should probably change the name of this site, though I’m not sure what to. Anyone have an idea?! Feel free to share! 🙂 Until next time…adios!



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knock, knock…goodbye 

It’s hard to believe that I haven’t written a post since March! A lot has changed! 

Dog wise…Annie completed her heart worm treatment, was spayed, and then was adopted! Her forever mama works with a lady who adopted one of Annie’s pups, so she gets to see her son often. Annie was honestly the easiest foster I’ve ever had, and she was definitely a hard one to let go. I still miss that sweet scruffy face! 

Before Annie officially moved out, Spike moved in. Spike is a 12 yr old doxie, who came to the rescue as an owner surrender. He was not the right fit for my home though. So he’s moved in with the rescue’s wonderful Vice President, who basically has the sanctuary dogs that are likely with us for the long haul. 

Then I had the sweetest little chocolate Lab mix. Jack was an 8 week old puppy, and he was adopter after only a week of being in my home. 

So, now it’s just the perma-pups…which is good. It’s nice to give them some much deserved  attention!

 Personal wise, things have changed around here too! I left my comfy cozy work-from-home job after 4.5 years, for a management position at a children’s therapy center. It was a scary change, leaving a job I knew so well and walking into the unknown… but I’m 3 months in, and I’m loving it! 

I am still very involved with the rescue, approving applications, finalizing adoptions, running the social media. It’s a little overwhelming sometimes…but I can handle it! 😉 

Then there is that kiddo of mine, always keeping me busy! He turned 9 in March, which still just seems crazy to me. Every day he’s getting more grown up, and my chubby little baby slips further away! He is very into being a man these days, and even told me that holding my hand at school is too embarrassing! Usually this would make a mom sad, but it makes me so happy that he’s showing independence. He is still in counseling for his anxiety. It’s been determined that he has general anxiety disorder, social anxiety and a touch of ocd, along with specific phobias. Some days are better than others. Fourth grade has been pretty rough so far, but his counselor is helping with that. He overcomes one fear or worry, and immediately moves on to another…which is exhausting, for both of us. He gets so frustrated that people don’t understand him; I get frustrated fighting for him. He gets his feelings hurt so easily; I get mad that someone hurt him. It gets old, real fast sometimes. But, we’ll keep working on it…because what else can we do. 

So, this is where I say goodbye to the blog o’sphere. The art of blogging, I think, is being consistent and frequent with your posts, and I just don’t have time to do that anymore. I hope that I’ve taught people some important information, like the importance of  heartworm prevention, the need for fostering and the amazing love of bully breeds. Thank you so much to you all for following along, reading my tales about tails, and sharing your own stories too. 

Good night & good bye! 


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Scruffy Princess

I think most of you follow my FB page, but in case you don’t….I never announced that Sammy was adopted! It happened very quickly. A previous LHR adopter was interested in him, so I popped over to their house so they could meet him in person. It was basically love at first sight, and Sammy was their’s the next day! He is with a wonderful couple, who have a young baby girl, and their previous LHR pup is pretty much a female-version of Sammy, behaviors/personality wise! Happiness!

So moving on to the next foster….in comes this scruffy princess, Annie!


Annie was found preggers and alone by a local vet. She held on to Annie until she had her babies and nursed them until old enough to be separated. All but one of the puppies have been adopted! Annie unfortunately has heartworms, so she’s been having to go through treatment. Luckily she is a pretty calm pup, so she’s been able to avoid full time crate rest for the most part.



Annie is absolutely one of the easiest fosters I have, and she’s definitely going to be a hard one to say goodbye too! She’s well behaved, house trained, and loves everyone she meets, two-legged & four-legged included.


I mean seriously people…is she not one of THE cutest things you’ve ever seen?!? I would really, really love it if someone I know would adopt her, because I just love her so much. Any takers out there? Friends? Family? She’s an awesome pup! You won’t regret it!


Annie’s perfect home would be with someone who’s home often, and would be willing to take her wherever dogs are welcomed. She LOVES to be with humans, and expects to be nearby as much as possible. Her future home should allow dogs on beds, because scruffy princesses deserve to sleep next to their beloved humans. She is great with dogs, so she’d love a home with another furry friend…however, I don’t think this is required for her, as long as she’ll gets tons of attention and love from her people. Annie is crate & house trained, loves to chew on bones, and is freakin’ adorable. What more could you want in a dog?

That all being said, Annie is not quite ready for adoption yet. She just had her last heartworm injection last week. So, we have to give her about 6-8 weeks, and then it will be safe to have her spayed. Then finally, she will be ready to go to a forever home. If you know of someone though, that might be worthy of having my sweet scruffy princess in their home, send them our way…and I’ll consider it. 😉


If you’d like to donate to the rescue in honor of Annie and other pups like her, we sure would appreciate it! You can donate by going to and click the Donate tab!

Have a great week, friends!


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52 Snapshots of Life, Week 13: Spring

Spring1aSpring3a Spring2



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Protecting your pets!

These 4-legged furry friends are extended family to most of us, right? They are just about as much work as having human kids. You have to think of them all the time. If you’re traveling, having guests visit, you always have to think about your pets, right? If you notice flaky skin, upset stomach, lethargy, you’d get them to their vet to help them feel better. Just like human kiddo’s. So, how do you protect your pets?

Iphone 07.09.14 288

Heartworm prevention is something that is so simple and easy, yet so many people slack on it. Usually your vet will give you a prescription for a whole year. Then you can purchase it from a discount site online…I recommend Dr. Fosters & Smith. When it’s not flea season, I buy just Heartguard (instead of Sentinel). I feel like it’s less chemicals going into their system plus it’s cheaper, and (knock on wood) I haven’t had an issue with this method yet. I never miss their heartworm prevention! If you are in FL, you KNOW  how bad the mosquitoes get. It takes just ONE infected mosquito to bite your dog, for him/her to then be infected with heartworms. And take it from me, and Annie, heartworm treatment SUCKS! It is no fun. Having to put Annie in her crate just because she is being too playful, is so sad. And it makes me think how awful it would be with either of my dogs, who are much more energetic than Annie. Anything that gets their heart pumping could kill them, while going through treatment. Plus, it’s expensive! So, why not protect you pet and your bank account, and just keep up with the heartworm prevention in the first place!


Another way to protect your pets is by making sure your home is safe for them. I have said many times before that I am a big believer in crating. I think certain dogs need a crate. Whether it is to keep them out of trouble, or to allow them to feel safe in their own space. If you leave your dog out loose, do you check your home before leaving? Do you know what peaks your dog’s curiosity? I leave Lucy out loose, and I know the only thing she’ll get into is food and napkins (she likes to shred them). So before leaving, I always survey the living room and kitchen, areas that she has access too, to make sure there is nothing she’d get into. This is something I’ve randomly done, never really vigilant about it….until I came across this website…I’m not sure how I even found them, and the majority of their posts are extremely sad and tragic, but it always reminds me to make sure my pups are safe. It’s a facebook page called Prevent Pet Suffocation. This page strives to bring awareness about the risk of potato chip bags (and other plastic type bags). These bags are extremely dangerous to our curious pets, because once a pet sticks his head inside the bag, it acts as a vacuum and the pet can’t get his head back out, and the pet then dies of suffocation. Sad and gruesome, I know, but it’s a reality…and I really think it’s important to help spread the awareness about this. So please, take a moment to “like” their facebook page. If you don’t want to see their sad posts, you can unfollow so that it doesn’t show in your news feed. However, while they are sad, they are also a regular reminder to protect my pets from letting the same happen to them.

How do you protect your pets? I’d love to hear of more ways that we can all keep our pets healthy, happy, and safe!

PS-Would you please click the link below & vote for Lucy and Oscar? They are in a photo contest, and it just takes a click of a button to vote for them! If we win, I get a $100 gift card to a cute online store! CLICK HERE TO VOTE:


Have a great night, friends! 


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Millionaire needed. 

Recently I made the mistake of stopping by the shelter (to drop off a food donation), so the kiddo and I went back to see the kitties and pups. *Sigh* I don’t know why I do this to myself. There were so many bullys. It sucks. I just hate it. There is no other way to describe it. My heart sinks more & more, as I walk by each kennel and see another blocky head staring up at me, tail thumping, tongue sticking through the metal gate, just craving attention and love.

I have said many times before, if I could have an entire farm of Oscar’s, I would. I don’t understand why there are SO many dogs that look exactly like him. I rarely see dogs that look that similar to Lucy. But there are DOZENS of Oscar look-alikes.

who me? No one iz lookz like me, maz!

who me? No one iz lookz like me, maz!

Right now, there are at least two dogs at the Tallahassee shelter who look like Oscar…act like Oscar…LOVE like Oscar.

WHY can’t I have them all? I would love them. And squeeze them. And hold them tight. Forever and ever and ever.


So, if you know of a millionaire looking for a wife, send him my way. Because I’m single and ready to mingle…with millionaires!

Until then though…I guess I will have to keep sharing and networking and begging for other people to go adopt these guys. Please please please share a dog in need today! It might seem silly or pointless to you. But I PROMISE you, the more “views” that dog gets, the better he/she has of getting out of that shelter and into a cozy forever home. So, go ahead & click that share button now!!!

Tallahassee Shelter’s adoptable pets:

Last Hope Rescue’s adoptable pets:


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